Tonight I’m feeling quizzical. I need to take some sort of bogus test to boost my ego. Let’s go to Hello Quizzy and see what they are offering tonight.
Hrmm…The Beatles Lyrics Test? Um no. I probably don’t need anyone to know what a Beatles geek I am.
The Firefly/Serenity Test? Again, do I really need flashing lights and a bullhorn shouting, “Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert!” No, I do not.
The Which Book Next Test which will determine “what book you should read next, in the opinion of a books expert.”? Aaargh! I have enough guilt waiting patiently on my side table for me to put down the remote and read. No thank you.
Ah, now here’s one that should give me just the positive strokes I need without making me into too much of a Q-Ball. Wait. Is it nerdy to still say Q-Ball? Oh, cripes.
You did so extremely well, even I can’t find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don’t. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you’re not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!
So it’s mid August and time to take care of Fall Fashion. Today I took Girlchild shopping for this:
Hooray for school uniforms!
However, I secretly wished I was shopping for this:
Mandalay cocktail dresses $1,105. & $1,315.
Cashmere day dresses from $200.00 Do you see the black tights? I LOVE tights! Huzzah for the return of tights and the demise of white winter legs glowing in the Autumn twilight!
Of course it isn’t really fantasy shopping until I check out the Fall Fashions in Women’s Sizes.
Eileen Fisher $78-$318 Caroline Rose $120-$305
I’m not much of a pants person, but these outfits would look gorgeous even on my figure. Do you like the sleeve length? I’m 5′9″ so my sleeves always look like this. I’d love to see the little brown number with a cute pair of kid gloves and matching heels.
As for my favorite fall fantasy? The shoes are not very inspiring this season. Meh. I’ll just take a pair of brown mock croc stillettos in a ten, please.
Sunday evening I met my bloggy crew at Capital Grille for a little get together. This week is restaurant week, an annual event where the snooty restaurants offer a three course fixed menu meal for $35 dollars (as opposed to the usual$100 meals), and donate the proceeds to local food pantries. Posh gourmet food for charity? You bet I threw away my girdle and ran fast as I could!
As good as the food was, it couldn’t compare to the beautiful company. When I arrived, Holly, Elaine, HRH, and Jill were already there and looking gorgeous with Stoli Dolis on the way. As you can imagine the conversation was fast and funny. I believe we covered everything from fantasy football to potty training, from Pokemon porn to my favorite subject- cute shoes.
Beginning with the Garden Salad, then over Kona Crusted Sirloin, and right on through Creme Brulee and Chocolate Espresso Cake, we gabbed and carried on until my sides were aching from laughter. At one point I let out a rather unladylike whoop before I remembered that we were in a very venerable venue. I darted a nervous glance at the table celebrating a delicate looking old woman’s birthday, and hoped I did not disturb them.
As they were leaving, I watched two young people gently helping her to the door. I sent over one of those “bless her heart” looks (the way you do) and was surprised when her daughter stopped at our table to say:
“She’s ninety-four years old and a pistol! She came into my classroom last month and there in front of the whole class, she grabbed my bewb (at this point, the woman demonstrated!) and said ‘I wish I had some of them!’. Well I told her she could if she were a hundred pounds overweight too!” Then she walked away leaving our table both astonished and laughing like loons.
Once we’d recovered, there was a furious debate over who got to blog about that! And that, my lovelies is how it is when Dallas Blogging Girls get together.
If you are a blogger in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area and would like information about our next blogger babes meet-up, shoot me an e-mail and we’ll get you the 411.
Tomorrow I enter my third fifty hour week at the office covering for the owners who are away. There was a time when this was not a big deal but right now, this week? It’s killing me. By default, home has to be put on the back burner and with school gearing back up, that home pot on the back burner is fixin’ to boil over! I am constantly tired, resentful, cross and on the edge of madness. Even the dog doesn’t want to be around me.
There is only one cure for pressure of this magnitude.
Last night we watched the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. Unbelievable. Awe inspiring. Amazing. Of course there was the one fly in the ointment. NBC trotted out that guy who is guaranteed to make me yell at my television every time: Bob Costas. I hate that man. HATE.
Last night’s scream at my TV moment: “They don’t have organized sports in China, like college sports or Little League…” Oh really? How about you put your stupid ugly hair back in the box and shut the hell up, Costas? It is true that Mao banned baseball back in the 1960s, but that ban has been lifted for some time now. Little League is growing fast in mainland China and has always been big offshore. I’m sure the champion team from Guangzhou will be happy to know that they do not have Little League in China.
I could go on about the many insulting and idiotic comments he made during the parade of nations, but I won’t. I’ll just say that I wish NBC had found someone other than a baseball play-by-play man to represent United States Sports. I take that back. I think I might have even preferred Bob Uecker. Imagine this commentary a la the movie Major League, “…and that javelin was juuust a bit outside.”
Oh and by the way, we all know that NBC has the rights to televise the NBA. Does that mean they have to devote nearly all of their camera time and commentary on the US athletes to LeBron James and crew? The only female athletes to get any face time were the Bikini Volleyball Team. Barf.
Whew! My son tells me he wishes I’d watch more golf and less football on TV, because I yell and swear too much. I have a feeling he might very well ban the Olympics too. In the meantime, I’ll be busy cheering on a local boy who went to our highshool, Jeremy Wariner. Don’t expect me to settle down any time soon.
Something Altruistic When we retire, Spouse plans to fly humanitarian aid in Africa. To be at his side, sharing an adventure, bringing necessities to strangers on the other side of the World, now that’s my idea of a perfect retirement.
Something Exotic Someday I shall travel the Silk Road across the Gobi Desert, stand upon the Great Wall, spin around in circles and whoop for joy.
Something to Achieve Perfect Consciousness or one dinner party where something doesn’t go terribly wrong.
Something Loving I would like my death to have meaning. Nothing dramatic like a martyr or a hero, just not senseless, you know? That’s one of the reasons I’m an organ donor.
Something to Leave a Legacy I think it would be lovely to create something beautiful that will be enjoyed long after I’m gone.
Something Big I’d like to sail across the great wide ocean with nothing but the horizon around me in every direction and just listen to the sea and the wind and be free.
Something Small Have my last words be “I love you”.
Something Fun Skydive when I’m old and gray. This lady (with or without her teeth) inspires me:
And y’all? I’m just too pooped from puttin’ in 10 hour days at the office to play tag tonight. Feel free to grab this meme and play along. Let me know if you want to play so I can read your 8 things, too.
The other evening we were discussing an unpleasant incident that involved a maniac and a crowd of people. Immediately my husband, son and darling little daughter chimed in, “Why didn’t anybody shoot him?”. When I explained that the incident did not happen in Texas, they all nodded knowingly.
It was then that my son told me why there will never be a Zombie Apocalypse in Texas, “You know Mom, if the zombies came here, everybody would be on their roofs with a shotgun, a box of ammo, and an ice chest full of beer.”
I looked at my sweet little Bear who was never allowed to play with war toys or violent video games. I came to the conclusion that good ol’ boys are born, not bred and in the case of a Zombie Apocalypse they are pretty handy to have around.
So, in case of zombies, y’all are free to come to Texas and hang out on the roof with us. We’ll barbecue. 97%
Thank you to Holly over at June Cleaver Nirvana (Do you read this hilarious blog? How does she stay so consistently funny?) for bestowing upon little ol’ me this pretty little bit of bloggy bling:
Very Eurochic, isn’t it? Such beauty is meant to be shared. Here are seven bloggers who I hope will in turn pass this along to seven more. I think they are “Brillante Premio”.
1. Evelyn of Mind-Full Fun-da-Mentals. Not only did she help me decide which laptop to buy, but she taught me a new and soon-to-be-overused-around-the-web-because-it-is-so-darn-clever word:
v. to blog dump: ie. I need to blump all my sorrows in today’s post.
n. dumped blog material: ie. Thanks for reading my blump.
Now how much fun is that? Prepare for me to abuse this this blumpy-good word.
2. Mrs. Fussypants. If you haven’t read her yet, hurry over so you don’t miss anything. She not only posts hilarious pictures on her site, but her quick intervention stopped me from pulling out all of my hair when Internet Explorer (IE) decided to feud with SiteMeter and all of a sudden I was no longer able to open sites with pretty stat counter graphics on them-even my own! Thanks to her quick thinking, I was able to solve the problem by dumping both IE and SiteMeter, so now you can all see my shining wit again! In the gorgeous Mrs. Fussypants’ own words, Muwah!
3. Karla of Looking Towards {Heaven} who encouraged me to make the switch from IE to Firefox. The switch was fast, free, and now my computer runs a zillion times faster. Her web designs are wonderful and her generous heart always shines through on her blog.
4. Jenny, the Blogessfor consistently keeping my nasal passages clear with hilarious posts. One day I will remember to put down the coffee before opening her page and giving myself another inadvertant nasal irrigation. Snort.
5. Green Girl in Wisconsinwho manages PTA, PBS and Pestilence with equal aplomb. I think her idea for unplugging Team Testosterone is Brilliante. Read this.
6.Janet at Adventures in the 32-Aker Wood because she blogs standing up and teaches her children to admire little brown bats in their playhouse instead of freaking out. Those two facts alone make me want to run to Appalachia and give her a big hug.
